คำนำ, ตอนที่ 1-4
The PDF version is here.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vVUD69hxtrK8Tp-IkrlrPyI8fBpr4jxtMNAmVtf8jhw/edit?usp=sharing
Préface
Hello. Let me tell you around nine things before I start: purpose of the book, regrets of these two years, difference of first two years, dislike of what I see, love of solo travel, opinions on studying and topics of interest. I did this writing piece as a self-reflection and diary for my university life in Chulalongkorn University. The word “self-reflection” is going to be clearer than what I did in the high-school published diary a few years ago. If you read it, you will know it well. You will see many parts of the diary relate to activities with a person, the identity will remain secret as such. I don’t have to say everything here. I don’t remember everything here, I don’t want to. So, just think with the words I typed. It is not a fun one of course, but it’s true. You will see everything: life events and sport reviews. By the way, the name of each episode will be in French, the translation to English will be in bold. The thing is not every person here can read Thai so this piece is in English instead of Thai in the high school version. It’s true that I felt regret that my life should have been more fun. Of course, there was a COVID year which cancelled on site activities. I spent time adapting in the second year longer than the first. Of course, I love the online world. I love each year differently. The first year was about less friends but less issues to deal with. The second year was about events and too many people. At least, I found different ways to like my friends in two different years. Some friends, well, they stay with the closed group more so it’s hard to sneak in. Too big a group has too much speaking behind the back. I hate this shit. However, there are too many speaking behind the back when it comes to criticism of lecturers. Some people look at what lecturers did as subjective and prefer not to engage in the dark side. Most episodes were about me going to places alone. I love it as this trip can be tailored-made. I didn’t include much about study. I didn’t want to talk about it.It’s stressful throughout the years. Of course, there are some fine subjects but there are six subjects each semester. I am not that multitasking to be that demanding. The standard for A is much higher than high school with more specialised subjects. I didn’t do my best in the first two years, I guarantee. Well, you may hear the less stressed version of studying from others. Don’t forget that many people didn’t study hard in the class anyway. These people were just talking and disturbing others. Some of these cunts still have bright minds, read well and score well anyway. Fortunately, I didn’t try to scold too many people in this book. I didn’t care much about censoring either but I did censor anyway, sadly. I am not always welcome to criticism. I just didn’t do bad things first. However, just criticise me, I guess. I will read through it later. You can’t be hated much as people can do too many things that I hate anyway. There will be one episode mentioning that. Generally, I feel so pathetic that some lecturers are too optimistic that people can remember things long enough for tests. Lecturers planned to measure subjects more than improve everyone in general. This is as competitive as the future I reckon but that’s laziness, anyway. Too many lecturers tried but failed anyway to inspire. I think it’s too much to ask. The idea of hierarchy is too much in Thailand that I am bored of criticising. However, too many lecturers make me question what the hell I paid for, like waiting seven weeks for exam points or trying not to answer or not guiding. I am dumb so I study. I will be very pleased if you discuss this book with me in the future. Anyway, I still believe that people shouldn’t reveal too many secrets. This will be just 10% of two years, there are 90% secrets. Lastly, before I finish. Remaining as independent as possible comes from having strong support. Of course, I have studying support. My friend should get all the credits. About love support anyway, this was beyond shit. The style of writing is almost all narrative. The other style of writing, which I called timeline, is used in the summary of the summer Olympics and the trip to Finland and Sweden, which I went there in the confused time. I don’t like what was on my mind all the whole trip. However, my writing will show you that I love both countries so badly. It inspired me to do more trips in the future which you will see in the future. I am also welcomed to discuss pictures from the trip as well. I love sports, charting music, counselling, photography, modern history, crispy pork, potato chips, Sprite and I love love, although I never find one. I am addicted to both drama and comedy. Addicted to comedy is not healthy for others. Sometimes I don’t feel funny things are too funny because I am addicted to something funnier and ready to criticise cheap quality things. Addicted to drama is not healthy anyway, but shame on anyone leading me to these. By the way, it’s true that some people make me happier. Some people make me feel worthy. However, I felt like the most annoying topic in the conversation with other people than these mentioned in the last few years was people telling me I was keeping on happier compared to before. I didn’t know what would make me happier in the last few years. Relationships were like roller coasters, I didn’t see any single, unowned girl have enough to give me any shit. Well, I enjoy some friendships that I am going to mention happily in this book though, especially one. Studying was far away from being in the right way that I knew what I was dealing with systematically. Should I be an actor because I just have lively conversation but inside myself was a straight trainwreck? I stood in the middle of being an uninteresting man or an annoying cunt for years. It wasn’t fun. My identity was certain, but I didn’t want this certainty of being a serious and complicated man. A happier me should be some time privacy and some time doing productive things that make love stronger. It’s just a dream somehow. The other me, a relaxed one, an uncontrolled passionate one, can be shown if anyone uses me properly. Okay, in summary, I am annoyed why people looked at me as a keeping happier person. That doesn’t mean any single achievement. However, I didn’t insult or forget small achievements anyway. It was more emphasised when I finally had a friend cheer me up or congratulate me on these things, which took many years of life for that, but I take it.I love that. Lastly, I am confident about many sports reports that I witnessed. They were symbols of addiction and it should be included. About me with friends though, I have much more confidence in telling you that it’s good. Hope you enjoy it.
A reader’s comment
Prem I alr read through all ur diary na. Really want to say that it’s so sweet that you record all the details happened between you and your friends, this will be a really good way to look back through all the stories in uni. The diary looks perfect already so I don’t think you have to adjust anything. It’s good to know what’s going on from your perspective, and your words definitely make all the stories make more energetic and positive
Saison zéro
Épisode un: s'effondrer
Falling apart is indeed a low-key start to the diary. The important part of trying to go to EBA Chula, I will just call it EBA since, I didn’t want to go through the admission test. You name it, maths test, social test for the Thai program. I felt better dealing with IELTS. I didn’t have to adapt to the society and the environment there at all as I am a Triamudom person. I hop in and hop out of the Pop bus since some of them are not air-conditioned. If you interviewed all qualified candidates, I would probably rank at the bottom about how much I want to get here. I haven't been obsessed with demand and supply compared to the history of ABBA. I lied anyway to get in. The faculty didn’t ask much about it then so I didn’t have to lie much. It is just about if you are good enough, you get good things. This statement is also what will be in the EBA too. I did an IELTS test in Samyan in May 2020, one of the worst times to have any test I guess as you may get COVID-19 for free. The preparation was two weeks. In summary, it was shit. I saw some of the preparation websites too late, it would be in use later anyway. The score was 7. I was upset. Writing was horrible. Listening and reading were the key. The testing relates to financial constraints also. As IELTS took a lot of money and my mother wanted EBA more than me, I stuck with CU-AAT for the maths test as I heard it is easier than TOEIC. It was a good one. There were two chances to get into the EBA. The first round of admission was in January 2021. I needed to answer ways to distribute future vaccines of COVID-19. I have to record it in half an hour from my home in Chonburi. I failed the admission. I was totally upset, you know. The EBA told me that my points in English and Math were too low. There was nothing much to separate anyone from the video stuff. In March, I retake the CU-AAT test again to have better maths points as the test is cheap. The points were better and I was ready for the last admission. It was an interview, it was different. My approach was showing off with calmness, it went well. I got a call later that didn’t please me about the past health issues. Luckily, it was just because the faculty wanted to get me in. After a clarification, I got there. I was glad at first, before I thought of tens of issues coming up, some of them will be discussed soon. Let me go through whatever happened during that time around the world also. This will be common in the diary. One life-changing thing happened is the discovery of Clubhouse. I saw that around Valentine’s Day in 2021 which was quite fast among Thais. The start of Clubhouse life was similar to others, just jumping into any channels as there weren’t many options then. One of them is the daily news Clubhouse which would lead to the later episodes. I stuck to some history channels as well but it’s too boring, better than some lecturers nevertheless. By the way, my second home was built in six months, completed in November 2020. It was a row 15 minutes away from where I live. There is a big ranch. I am fine at what went on. The only thing I wanted was a bathtub. Yes, it has been my dream for so long. I go to that bathtub every time I go there, obsessed with it. The ranch is a good reason why I don’t travel. How can you find a better budget hotel compared to your own? I started a sports news podcast that year as well. It is just a show to give the listeners the summary of sports in the past day, focusing on top level sports around the world. It is just a show to increase my satisfaction because I just care about the top people only. There’s football in it. I think 4/5 of countries in the world have it as a number one sport. My pattern for years now starts with football followed by cricket, followed by the other sports before having the first break, then talk about American sports and from Thursday to Monday finish with Australian sports. Well, it can be around 6 to 12 sports in 20 to 30 minutes. Few days before I got admitted to the EBA, Eurovision that year was indeed a refreshment. It’s not that shocking about the cancellation in 2020. What Eurovision people could do was just wait, you know. I felt sad for Iceland and Lithuania the most , as they had a great chance to win. It’s certain that they won't win in 2021 as the songs didn’t have “a winning glimpse”. For outsiders, the glimpse has a different explanation through the years. In 1965, the glimpse was just something interesting, a non-ballad piece of music as Serge Gainsbourg tried. Indeed changing the contest. In 2021, it should be something memorable in both a few seconds' stuff and throughout the song. The winning song should concentrate on both. Italy and France were good throughout. Malta and Ukraine could have some fun. Switzerland was expected to be great in juries’ opinions. Sweden was forgotten somehow, it’s a weird year. That night I saw that glimpse in Italy and Malta. Malta went off as the televote was horrible. It has been horrible as normal. Italy with Måneskin won with “Zitti e buoni” or shut up and behave, the second rock song ever to win the contest after the gospel song from Lordi called “Hard Rock Hallelujah”. Again, what a refreshment it was. Let’s go to the real EBA life.
Épisode deux: l'émission de radio
A few days before the start of that EBA saga, the Clubhouse channel called News News News launched the spinoff from the normal serious news. It is the sports’ edition in the style of the radio show. It started with a Brazilian named Nicole and an American named Ashwin. It wasn’t my show at first but at that first show. I raised my hand, I talked for some time then got admitted easily. The thing is that the show has a similar purpose like my own show. The biggest topic at that time was the preparation for Euro 2020, another affected sport thing from COVID-19. Of course, it’s the European Championship of football. Let me go through what happened before mentioning that show. There are 24 teams in the competition. These 6 groups of 4 teams would provide 16 spots for the straight knockout extravaganza. The tournament was hosted by 11 cities in as many countries. The first game started in Rome and the final four was in London. France, the world champion, and Belgium are expected to do well. England, Italy and Spain are expected to do well with improvements needed. It was certain the final four will have football powerhouses with Italy and Belgium able to provide the too-early quarter final matchup. I didn’t watch what happened to Christian Eriksen live. His sudden emergency caused shockwaves to the world. That was more shocking than the result that Finland had an upset win against Denmark and Danish crowds. Let’s go to the summary of the tournament. Group A was easy for Italy as they won all three games at home. Turkey on the other hand lost all games so Switzerland and Wales got these points and followed Italy to the next round. Belgium swept group B so finding runner-up was about the three-way battle of Finland, Denmark and Russia. Russia beat Finland 1-0, Finland also beat Denmark 1-0 but Denmark had a night, beating Russia 4-1 sending both countries home. Netherlands won all three games in Group C but was labelled as overrated as the team was in an easy group. Austria won twice, Ukraine won once. Both also qualified. North Macedonia lost all three games, they qualified from the weak League D representative in the Nations League. For Group D, Scotland managed a draw at England but losing both games at home to Croatia and Czechia eliminated them. England won the group by winning the other two games, Croatia and Czechia split the points when playing against each other and went through. A mini-surprise happened in group E as Spain didn’t win a group. Sweden did it by tying Spain and beating Slovakia and Poland, both didn’t pass the group stage. Group F was a group of death as France, Germany and Portugal were in the same group. Hungary was eliminated with a fight, tying with Germany and France, France won the group. The other powerhouses also made it to the last 16. To make each episode a timeline, I separate the knockouts away. Let’s talk about the show. Let's go back to the radio show stuff. I love this show so much because of the communication the presenters have. It takes some time to understand the preference, especially the favourite football team. I am a United fan of course. Ashwin supports Chelsea. Nicole loves Everton. You guessed it. The common opponent of these teams are Liverpool for sure, which means it is a great start. The late 2000s was the great time to see Liverpool against Chelsea. They played 24 matches between October 2004-April 2009. That was excessively frequent. I think one of the more intellectual reasons why all of these teams hate Liverpool so badly is because of the "always the victim" mantra that some people enjoy accusing them of. You know that Liverpool fans are the victims of the Hillsborough disaster. The common target of this thing is the acute innocence of whatever happened in the Heysel Stadium in 1985, the decisive reason for the five-year European ban of English teams. Some older fans accepted. These shouldn't and won't be targeted much compared to younger fans as the fathers won't tell them, didn't try to tell them or didn't know the danger of not telling them. In the highest negativity, the oppositions didn't want Liverpool to do well in Europe, even now. Well, this is hate speech but the forgetfulness still happens today. Okay, back to some positive stuff. The moderators have common high awareness on sports on both the English and American side. We feel the importance of speaking about all major things. The major headline of ice hockey is more important than the tenth major headline of football. Sadly, sports shows care about ratings too much compared to the content. You can see 80% of sports shows about football. That doesn't make sense. To expand, these sports people tried so hard to be the best in the world, you know. They should be treated as equal as possible. When Nicole comes, she deals with F1, rugby league and football. I and Ashwin split the cake.
1. Ashwin starts the show before provide his monologue
2. I was introduced by Ashwin and provided my own monologue, cutting all contents that he spoke before. Sometimes speak about life in the past week briefly
3. Ashwin starts from football. He discusses football in the past week
4. I give comments in some issues before speak about standings of top European leagues
5. We may talk about some less important but more local football if it is important such as Ashwin in North American side, I in Asian side and some others
6. I now lead the next section call miscellaneous, Ashwin will take a short break when I round up as much as 10 sports in the past week about summary of what happened uninterruptedly, one part focusing on non-North American sports such as cricket, rugby and tennis which Ashwin may comment in some sports, the other part is the Australian section I carry it. It is about the AFL and NRL where people crazy about at least one of them
7. Ashwin leads to the next section about North American sports. It's about what sport is currently in-season. From February, it will be the twin of basketball and hockey together. From late June, it will be baseball. From late October, it's about the NFL. I comment or lead the hockey section mostly.
8. Ashwin finishes the show, I may leave with funny goodbyes.
It's so structural that we don't have to talk before the show about what we should do. It's so easy. The show was supposed to be one hour but if Ashwin has time, we just talk longer and longer.
Épisode trois: préparation
This was just part of life, not the best part of life. That year was the first ever maths preparation class so no one knows if it is a good idea or not. It directly wasn’t, indirectly perfectly was. It was a mess for short-term but there is much more to say about long-term. Ajarn Yong Yoon was in charge of the course. He mainly mentioned statistics, which would be talked about more in the second year. I forgot things then. The first class ever was about dealing with ZOOM. On the blindside, it’s better to observe who was online and remembered some of the names before, if lucky, meeting after class. I just tried to remind myself of some things. It went fine. This is quite similar to many classes after. There will be a few people showing up on ZOOM, turning on the camera showing their faces. It’s certain that the lecturers are more fascinated with the foreigners or seem to be foreigners. After the classes started for a week, I reached the first one on LINE. People already have it so it’s easy to find one. I will write about it more later. During the week, I made a cake with my mother. It was tiresome, it went well. I won’t do it for some more. Back to that LINE stuff for chronological purposes, I remembered it was a fine start before that friend gave the contact of her couple, that was fast. The process of that thing is trying to leave greetings to as many people as possible. If only 1 of 15 is the right connection for me, I take it. It took until June 30.
Épisode quatre: nuits magiques
Here comes the knockouts of the championship as all the teams were finding for notti magiche (magical nights). Denmark continued the Russian demolition by hammering Wales 4-0. In my opinion, Wales lived over expectation at first. You look at the goalkeeper Danny Ward. Gosh, that wasn’t a great start. Denmark had only a few good enough players though. Italy had to use extra time to send Austria home 2-1. The second attacking unit of Italy was basically good enough. I felt for Alaba though that he carried the country for so long. Netherlands lived up to expectation by losing 0-2 to Czechia, shipping out the manager F. De Boer in the process. There were still more Dutch kids coming up nevertheless. The big game later between Belgium and Portugal ended with the dethorne, Belgium won 1-0. The younger Hazard scored the only goal. The Belgian team was still solid for a few years as we know. Spain against Croatia was the game of the round. Two good teams met too fast. Croatia scored two late goals before losing in extra-time, a score of 5-3 for Spain. That title was eclipsed by the later game between France and Switzerland. Benzema scored twice. The Swiss team scored two late goals also to force extra-time. Serefovic scored twice for the Swiss. The score remained 3-3 after 120 minutes before Switzerland won the penalties 5-3. The demons were exorcised in a game between England and Germany. One can name as many games as possible relating to Germany beating England in tournament knockouts: Euro 1996, 2010 World Cup, 1990 World Cup or someone may mention Euro 1972 quarter-finals. England that day had fans and form, knocking Germans 2-0. The last game had less than 10000 people show up but it was a dramatic end. Ukraine scored a goal in the injury time of the extra time beating Sweden 2-1. Here comes the quarter finals. It is another time Switzerland pulled the more successful team to penalties. This time it was Spain but a 1-1 draw finished by Spain’s 3-1 penalty win. The late game was a big match everyone was waiting for. Belgium played Italy. The latter won 2-1. The next was another unpredictable game in the paper. Denmark beat Czechia 2-1. The last one was an English steamroll, beating Ukraine 4-0. They just showed up overseas too after they played all games in London, also the final four was in London. You can see the advantage. Here comes the semi-finals. Spain could be looked as an underdog before the game against Italy. The Spaniards haven’t had any real test. They couldn’t beat Sweden. The goalkeeper was controversially selected but this team lives beyond expectation already under Luis Enrique. Italy had the same formation with Spain in that game. Chiesa scored first for Italy, Morata tied it for Spain. The game was pushed into penalties. Both teams missed the first penalties but Morata missed his penalty also, Italy won 4-2 in penalties. Another game seemed to be an easy win on paper between England and Denmark. However, Denmark led first by Damsgaard before Kjaer conceded the own goal, another 1-1 game after 90 minutes. Kane won it for England in the extra time, setting the final against Italy, or in other words, against all-Europe as there are too many English hate throughout. Here comes the final, Italy had the better teams, England had fans. Although people know England had fans as such, there are still questions why Italy was considered good somehow except the manager is reliable, not Southgate. Shaw scored for England early in the game. Italy tied it from Bonucci, that was another 1-1 game after 90 minutes for you. Nothing much happened later so the game was going to penalties again. England scored its first two. Italy missed one. However England missed the next two while Italy scored. Italy could win it again from Jorginho. He scored the decisive penalty against Spain. Jorginho missed it. Saka could tie it in the fifth penalty. He missed. Italy won 3-2 on penalties. Europe erupted. You can see the YouTube video of Europeans dancing on the street anywhere. It was absolutely hilarious. I didn’t watch the game though but I will describe that in the later episodes. That’s sad I missed the party. In summary, that tournament was a certain refreshment, it’s the end of the wait to celebrate how close Europe is. The quality of European football is fine. I think it can be a good idea to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the European Championships all around Europe again. Don’t do that every four years, what the chaos we saw.
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